Your Other Project
by RoadwayFox
Summary: Jamie Loeb is Tony Stark's protégée. A prodigy child serving as a shrink to the Avengers team while developing a memory drug, she's got more than enough on her hands even before Captain America enlists her help in a "highly sensitive" case. Captain America\ The Avengers
1. Chapter 1

"You're no fun, Burton!" Jamie yelled as she tried to oped the door of her study.

"Sorry, what was that, Little J? I can barely hear ya." She could hear the smirk in his voice, her lips thinned as she imagined herself wiping it off.

When the door did not open and she could hear the archer's steps taking him away from where she was, Jamie produced a sigh and called out:

"Jarvis, could you open the door, please?"

"Agent Burton used one of his arrows to block it from the outside, Miss Loeb." She grimaced at this. "Would you like me to fetch someone to open it for you?"

"Yes, please." The young woman offered in a small voice.

She went over their conversation with the blonde agent again in her head and knew that she's pushed him. Pushed him enough to childishly run away and close her in her own study. Jamie let out a breath. And there she thought she'd gained his trust. _Not enough, apparently._

"Well well well..." There was a cracking voice from the now ajar-ed door that made Jamie make a face. "And the damsel is saved."

"Jarvis couldn't find anyone else to open the door, really?"

"He tried Pepper but come on!" Tony Stark in all his glory entered the room. "I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"I'm sure you wouldn't." Jamie commented dryly, not slightly amused by his enthusiasm.

"So trouble in paradise? I thought you had Robin Hood wrapped around your lil finger." The billionaire smirked.

The young woman collected the files from the glass table meanwhile and turned to leave, her companion on her heels.

"Should have known better." She said as they reached the elevator. "I pushed, he cracked under pressure. My fault."

"You don't seem phased." Stark stated as he pressed the top floor.

"I'm not." She smiled and pressed the button underneath his. "It's to be expected."

"But you are." Tony observed.

The woman in front of him everted her eyes slightly and chose to remain silent.

"You do know this is fine, right?" He finally said after drilling her with his intense stare. "This is Clint Burton we are talking about here. He kills people for leaving. I don't think he's ever had a shrink before. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how to react."

"It's...super-nice, Tony, that you're trying to make me feel better but..."

"I'm not trying to make you feel better, Doctor Queen, you wouldn't be here if you weren't the best." Stark assured her in a cheerful voice but something told Jamie that he was honest. Honest the way only Stark could be. "And I am super-nice and super-hot...Oh, that's you. Say hi to Brucie for me."

At that the doors opened and Jamie left Tony for the transparent stairs that led to the lab, muttering something incoherent in the process, still down from what she considered a step back with Hawkeye.

"Cheer up, Doll!" She heard his last words before the elevator doors slide shut.

Dr. Bruce Banner was surrounded by the interactive screens of the most modern and technologically equipped lab in the world. He didn't notice her when she came in and plunged herself on the sofa in far end corner of the room. She watched him carefully. Jamie loved people-watching almost as much as almond and blueberry cupcakes but watching the other scientist work calmed her down.

"You're not here to Dr. Phil me again, are you?" His voice was soft and deep, and it made Jamie smile as she used one of her files to shield her face from the light.

"No, you're off the hook today." He heard her mutter.

"Are you impersonating Captain America part-time? Don't want to admit but Tony is kinda better at this." He chuckled.

"Ah...I'm truly hurt." She pointed at her heart using her other hand. "You wound me."

The good Doctor chuckled lightly and swiping a hand over the screen in front of him to get a picture of finalized data turned to his still unmoving companion.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't talk about it." Jamie muttered as she pulled herself up on her elbows.

"Oh, so Agent Burton finally pulled sprinter?" One side of his mouth curved into the smallest smirk.

"Who told?" Jamie fixed him with a glare. "Stark? When?"

"Relax. I know you had an appointment with Hawkeye, two and two really." He pulled his hands up in mock surrender.

"They don't call you doctor for nothing, do they!" Jamie sticked her tongue out at him, keeping her face childishly offended.

"Pfff...and gamma research has nothing to do with it." Bruce agreed.

"You're such a jokester." Jamie produced sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

Six months ago while in Calcutta if anyone would tell Bruce Banner that he'd be high-up in Stark Tower Lab bantering with one of the youngest Stark employees he would raise one eyebrow and use his index finger to slowly twist it near his temple.

Six months, a battle with aliens for New York, couple demi-gods and confrontation between himself and Hulk brought him here.

Bruce first met Jamie Loeb when she was emerging from the ruins of the previous Stark Tower when the Avengers won the battle with the Chatyuri's Army. She was there to assist Tony with his suit and saw him in his green form when he imprinted Loki into the floor.

_Hulk screamed when he felt that somebody else was in the room beside himself and the now-pancake-like god. Turning around he noticed a small blue-eyed woman clad in skinny jeans, red T-shirt and a dark-leather jacket. She was watching him curiously and then said:_

"_Hi, you must be Hulk. Sorry, I'm not shaking your hand, I'm not really sure you wouldn't crush mine in the process. I'm Jamie, I work for Tony. He said you'd be here to take care of the hot Asgardian asshole. Really nice to meet you, I'm kinda a fan now." _

_He was speechless. She was clearly waiting for a response. _

"_We could try that handshake though if that's an issue." As the small creature pouted her lips picturesquely, Bruce felt the green monster's heart melt. There were a few humans that could stand being in the same room when he was in his ...more enraged form. And neither of them would want to shake his hand. _

"You wanna talk about it?" Bruce asked as he took a place next to Jamie on the sofa.

"Not really." She answered as her thin legs flew up on their own accord and ended on his lap. "It's just super-multi discouraging. I'm a good shrink and to boot I develop drugs. Good drugs might I add...I should be able to shrink a bird."

That made Bruce laugh. It was a good laugh. The one he forgot he's had before he came to live in the Stark Tower.

"Clint saw awful things and did even worse, he won't always want to talk about them." He comforted as his hands fell on the young woman's legs. "The fact that he lets you inn even a little is a win."

"You can my shrink." She said happily after a small pause. "All shrinks need their own shrinks."

"Count on me." Bruce nodded and slid his glasses from his face and into the chest pocket of his shirt.

Almost all his shirts were purple. Jamie wondered why. Yeah, he probably liked the color but...all of them? Though she wasn't the one to complain. She loved the color. It calmed her. Come to think of it, like everything about Bruce. Bruce Banner was her official refuge bay.

Bruce never thought he could be that at ease with anyone ever since the Hulk showed up in his life. But there was something about Jamie that brought him (and Hulk!) the sense of belonging. Not with her but in this place, with this people. Jamie just became a buffer in this transition. She was smart (too much for her own good, Tony's words), caring, funny in her babbling sarcastic way, charming, and she was a scientist (which is a different level of smart in Bruce's books). It helped that she didn't treat him any different knowing about his green problem.

"How's the new drug going?" Bruce questioned to change the subject from her patient.

"It's good as far as I can tell but I need to test it...on people, hopefully." Her boney face was graced with a light grimace again.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "But as you can guess there are not many subjects out there with the memory loss that I need for the experimentation."

"BRUCIE!" The both occupants of the lab threw each other an identical look.

"Yes, Tony?" Bruce answered.

"Could you stop getting cozy with Little Loeb and get both your asses here! One-eye and Capcical are here. We need your...opinion."

"We're on our way." The other scientist was already on his feet ad helping the young doctor up.

"Oh, and could you drop by the kitchen and get me some yellow m&amp;m's?"

"Kitchen is not on our way!" Jamie shouted into the intercom as Bruce dragged them in the direction of Tony's quarters.

Even from the outside both Jamie and Bruce could hear loud voices, Tony's irritation at Fury, Steve's irritation with Tony and the SHIELD Director irritated with the world in general.

"And the fun the fun just keeps being thrown my way today." Jamie commented, opening the door.

Bruce just silently followed her remaining quite.

"Welcome to the party, fellas, hope we didn't interrupt _anything_." Tony made sure to stress the last word.

"We were about to have sex on the lab table when you called." Jamie supplied, taking a place on the couch.

Steve's eyes widened, Bruce turned a shadow of tomato while Nick Fury just rolled one of his remaining eyes and did not comment.

Tony came closer, sizing both other scientists before saying:

"You're lying!"

"Am I?" The young woman didn't blink.

The staring match between them was interrupted by Bruce:

"She is! You said you needed our opinion?"

"Thank you, Doctor!" The Director said loudly, willing to change the subject.

"And where are my m&amp;m's?" Tony whined.

"Four days ago Captain Rogers brought someone to SHIELD." Fury started explaining with voice that held finality.

"Are we allowed to know who?" Jamie intersected.

Director looked at the Captain for a second. Steve obviously caught his wind because next words were his.

"The Winter Soldier."

After the silence hanged in the air he added with grief and what Jamie believed was a barely detectable desperation:

"And I need you to save him."

_Oops..._He was looking straight at her.

_**-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-**_

_**SOOO, what do you think?**_

_**This is the a bit more of a Prologue than a first chapter but I just wanted to give you, guys, some minor setting so you could imagine Jamie, what she does, how she lives. Not a lot, mind you, but some starting point if you may.**_

_**Anywho, THANKS for joining! I'll try to post frequently and PLEASE REVIEW!**_

Yours, RoadwayFox


	2. Chapter 2

"O-okay...let me get this straight: you want me to help _the_ Winter Soldier who is actually your long-lost buddy from the WWII time to regain his memories that were suppressed by the serum that turned him into a superhuman and torturing of the Soviets and HYDRA. Am I covering everything so far?" Steve couldn't place the undertones of Jamie's voice as she summarized the conversation of the last twenty minutes, it was hard for him to interpret whether the young scientist was gravitating to accepting the offer or not.

Next words though were Tony's and there was no misunderstanding there: he did not like the idea in the slightest.

"Yeah, darling, they want to put you in the cage with the lion. How many people did this guy kill? O don't answer that! We're all disposable to SHIELD after all!"

He was loud and obnoxious as always but this time there was some distant despondency in the billionaire's voice.

"It's not like that..." Steve sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck with one of his calloused hands. "He..."

Director Fury was still to offer his input.

"He is...lost. He remembers pieces but they are too insignificant and too...far away. He wants to know who he was and doesn't want to be HYDRA's weapon anymore." Captain said firmly but words were wavering.

"This is ridiculous! Why don't you just put an apple in her mouth and serve her on a big plate with sprinkle of spices?" The genies almost yelled, gesturing with his hands.

"You're the one who's being ridiculous, Stark!" Steve was losing his patience, as it always was when his fellow avenger was involved. "Dr. Banner?"

"Sorry, Captain." Bruce who was standing at the window the whole time turned to the crew in the room. "I'm with Tony on this one. It's too dangerous."

"And Sticks here is not a SHIELD employee, may I remind you. She's Stark Industries' one. And I as her boss tell you that she's SUPER MOSTROUSLY busy at the moment and for years to come." Tony said determinedly.

Steve sighed again, greeting his teeth together.

"We know that, Mr. Stark." The Director finally said, his voice calm but full of authority. The authority he knew wouldn't help him at the moment. "That's why we are asking this as a favor."

"A favor to me." Captain looked at Jamie again.

She hasn't said a word yet. The young woman seemed to be deep in thought. She was listening, searching Steve's words, searching the Director's silence.

"Why me?" She asked at last just before Tony was about to throw one more tantrum.

"You're developing a memory drug. We think it could help." Fury answered, crossing his hands once more behind his back.

"Just the drug would not help because he's had too extensive memory fracture. He needs the therapy, he needs to speak and he needs something constant. In his case drugs are just a side-treatment." Jamie explained.

"Then treat him." Steve asked again, this time Jamie could clearly see how desperate he was.

She caught a sight of Bruce pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Try, Miss Loeb. You can always get out of it." The Director said. "Anytime."

"And I am the princess of England! He's lying. You can't honestly be considering this." Tony was standing in front of his protege as if shielding her from the two men who were trying to pursue her to help the ex-assassin.

"Tony.." He almost didn't want to turn and look at her because he already knew what was to follow.

"You can't honestly think about accepting." He did turn around eventually. "He's a deadly weapon."

"But he's also a man that needs help." She answered quietly but with certain determination. Then a slight one-sided smile appeared on her face. "I know some people that are...pretty deadly when they are angry. And I'm still proud to be their friend."

Tony shook his head. Then turned to look at Bruce who was in turn looking at the scene.

"Are you sure?" The good doctor asked.

Jamie nodded then added:

"Even if I was solely looking at this as a scientist: he is a damn challenging case."

Tony still wasn't happy but he knew that she's already made a decision.

"But I have some rules. First, SHIELD does not interrupt or control my therapy." Jamie looked straight at the older man.

"Granted. But we are keeping the Winter Soldier in the guarded area."

"No." The owner of the Tower said.

"Why..." Steve was about to counter him when Tony continued dismissing the soldier.

"He will be staying here. These are _my_ terms or I will not let _my_ scientist work with the subject. I will put him on one of the floors. He will be under my surveillance 24/7, and if I see him going Rambo even for a second, I will personally make sure to turn him into a puddle of melting ice with one of my new Ironman suit toys."

Steve and the Director shared a look.

"And I have Hulk." The billionaire added.

"Okay." Fury said curtly.

"Good." With that Tony left, slamming the door after him.

"We shall take our leave as well. Agent Hill will contact you about the time of transporting and will send over all the files essential for you on your patient." Director Fury informed Jamie and turned to the door Tony disagreed behind previously. "Dr. Banner."

"Director." Bruce acknowledged.

"Thank you, ma'am. I'm in your debt." Captain America told the young doctor.

"Don't thank me yet. It's a very long and possibly unsuccessful journey." She said softly, massaging her neck trying to relieve the stress from the face-off.

"You agreed to try. And for that I'm forever thankful."

He bowed and took his leave, nodding to Bruce on his way out.

"You are against this." Jamie stated as soon as she was sure they were alone with Bruce.

"I am." He confirmed.

She was about to say something but he didn't let her:

"But this is not about me. And not about Steve, or Tony. And probably this is not even about the Winter Soldier. It's about you. You've been craving for more lately. That's what we, scientists, always do: we want more."

He was right...as always. She did want more: more experience, more work, more different unlikely cases. She wanted to make the difference.

"I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into, kid." He finished with a sigh.

Jamie was silent for a while. Then she got on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek lightly.

"Thank you." She said with a small smile.

The young doctor left her friend to stay after that to go and find her overprotective boss.

The most important question being if he was too overprotective or if she was nuts getting herself in what she was sure was going to turn into one hell of a mess.

_**-/-/-/-/-**_

_**Sooooooo? Any suggestions\thoughts...anything? **_

_**I swear Bucky will show up next chapter!**_

_**RoadwayFox**_


	3. Chapter 3

If there was Purgatory it sure was a place he was in.

Blood, darkness and sick twisted flashes of memories. Memories of him killing. Ruthlessly. He showed no mercy to his victims. Whether they deserved it or not he did not know.

James wished he wouldn't remember anything at all if recalling his past and who he really was was going to go hand in hand with knowing how many lives he's taken.

But unfortunately or not it wan't his choice to make anymore.

Captain America...Steve Rogers...his friend, or at least he [Steve] was sure that they used to be best of friends, seemed amazingly sure when he was saying that gaining back the memories that were wiped out was essential to the process of his healing. Somehow James was sure that the lion part of it was due to the blocked part of his brain containing important information about HYDRA that Steve's superiors couldn't wait to get their hands on. Whatever the real reason was (or maybe all of them actually had a motive to exist) when the Winter Soldier landed himself into SHIELD 's custody he knew that for a foreseeable future he would most likely lose his right to vote, choose a brand of juice or a say in what is to be done to his memory or body.

"You ready?" James didn't have to turn around to see who that was, he knew the voice, more than that: he recognized the weigh of Steve's footsteps.

"Yes." He chuckled humorlessly in response and decided to stick to one-ward answers.

"Buck..." James tried not to cringe at the name he knew Captain remembered him by but it was almost impossible because for him it was like calling grass purple. "I have faith in this Doctor, and Stark has faith in her as well otherwise she wouldn't be working for him. And that says a lot!"

Tony Stark. The infamous prodigy son of Howard Stark with the arc reactor in his chest. If he was anything like his father he was the best when it came to science and he had to have the best. That would second Steve's word. But anyway no matter what reservations he might have about the vector his life was about to take, he didn't have any mildly smart alternative at the moment. He could escape, it would be trouble-some but it wasn't impossible. But what's the point? He came to SHIELD willingly because he didn't want to be a brainless killing machine any more. So running away was not an option.

He didn't know much about the doctor that was going to be working with him but he had to give them a benefit of a doubt at least because they were willing to take on a patient like a Winter Soldier.

"Let's go."

Steve didn't say anything further, just opened the door for the two of them.

"Are you ready?" Jamie looked up from the stack of notes on her lap to the good doctor standing in front of the holographic monitors a good ten feet to her left. Then her eyes darted to the clock on one of the screens and something seemed to click in her head.

"It's almost 3:30!"

"Yeah, they should have just got here." Bruce nodded.

"Then..." She stood up, balancing the papers in her hands carefully. "I should be heading there. Wish me luck?"

Doctor Banner sighed and cocked his head a little to the side to look at the shrink:

"I'd like to say that you don't need it but this time I got a feeling that it's going to be an essential part of the case."

"That helped a lot, Bruce." Jamie mocked dryly and turned to leave. "Just say Good luck next time".

Bruce just sighed again looking at her retreating back.

Jamie had to admit that she was beyond excited to get to work with such patient as the Winter Soldier, he was definitely a subject-candy for a starving scientist as herself but at the same time she was nervous and even perplexed. It was a huge responsibility. Jamie has gone over the files that Maria Hill sent her over ten times looking for loopholes in HYDRA experiments.

Also she couldn't rule out the fact that she was scared of the man. A little. That was strange. Usually fear as emotion was rather foreign to her. There was something very different about James Barns that the young scientist couldn't quiet place yet.

Jamie's train of thoughts was interrupted when the elevator signaled the floor she aimed for. Taking one last calming breath the brunette stepped out.

Steve and Stark (the last one occasionally growling at him and showing with all his might and big Stark ego that he was against the whole situation) left his "quoters" to run the security protocol, letting him to get aquatinted with the new leaving arrangement by himself. The soldier had to admit that he was more than a little surprised at the size, equipment and discing of the rooms...it was a whole apartment: the leaving ares, a bedroom, something that reminded of a study, big kitchen and two bathrooms. Though James guessed that Stark just could't let himself have anything less than perfect. It was Stark and even his prisoners should have the best.

"So, I guess, you like it here." A soft voice said from behind him and though he knew that the person was at least ten feet away from him, James' metallic arm fisted on its own accord.

Upon turning around the soldier had to give it to a young woman in front of him: if he scared her, she took it very stoic with unreadable face.

"I'm Dr. Loeb but you can call me Jamie, I will be supervising your rehabilitation process."

She was skinny with shoulder-length light brown hair and her piercing blue eyes somewhat reminded James of Steve. She looked young but apparently was capable.

_Rehabilitation process... _Nice way to put it. She was couscous but didn't show any negative emotions. There was a small kind smile on her face as she was studying him with her big curious eyes. She seemed healthily interested but not intrusive.

And she was a woman. If James had to be honest, he didn't expect that. Even though now that he's searched his memory Steve did refer to the Doctor as "her".

"And you are James Barns." He heard her say. Her voice had a highly calming vibe to it, at least it felt that way to him. "Can I call you James?"

He opted to just nod in answer.

"I'm not here today for a session." Dr. Jamie said in that same calming tone. "I just wanted to see how you got settled. If everything was fine."

When James didn't say anything, the brunette went on to ask the question she hanged in the air in the previous statement:

"Is everything fine?"

It was another long pause after which James muttered "Fine." and turned buck to the window.

Jamie nodded at that and though inside she was breathing heavily, she knew he stress was not visible on the outside.

"Even if it's not, we could work on everything later. I will be here every day so we will step by step. No rush."

"I thought you needed to clear my memories." He didn't try to be polite. SHIELD wanted what he's forgotten, he didn't want to be a brainless robot. It's a simple deal. Politeness wan't a part of it.

"I'm not here to clear anything." She simply said and finally stepped closer into the room. "I'm here because your friend Steve Rogers asked me to be in charge of your therapy. I don't work for SHIELD. I'm not here to extract any kind of information from you. I'm here to help you remember the man you used to be. Something those...men have taken away from you."

She was saying good things. But he couldn't trust her. Even if she was right, how the man that he used to be once would help him?

"They took more than just your memories. They took away the most important undeniable thing that belongs to all human beings: a freedom to choose. There's a chance you will never remember or you can recall certain things. The thing is: you don't have to be that man you used to be anymore. He is a part of the puzzle of your past. If you _choose_ to go back to being him, it's ok. If you feel comfortable with the changes, then by all means be someone you want to be at this moment. I'm here to help you catch up with the time they've made you lose and to see the opportunities of who you might want to be. The process of a memory restoration is just a small part, and not the most important one."

It was very strange for James. He couldn't remember being in the same room with a woman that he has not been ordered to kill earlier in the day. She was wearing a blouse in a very light fabric and a beige skirt. It was calming. And her voice. Like a lullaby.

James' small voice in the back of his head was screaming that every single detail of the good Dr. Jamie (from the color of her clothing to the melodic sound of her voice) was meant to disarm him, to play with his senses. But then again..._he _gave _himself up for_ treatment. No one made him. Why couldn't he be a little less a paranoiac sociopath?

She must have figured out that he was having an internal war because she cleared her throat a little:

"Listen, I understand that you're hardly to believe me right now. And you're definitely not to be blamed for that. All I ask is that you give this a chance."

After he stood there silent, she opted for one more thing:

"I mean, what do you really have to lose?"

At that James glared at the young woman. Some lost vibe inside of him was vary angered and upset. But why? Winter Soldier didn't have anyone or anything. That was the point. Then why did it feel so bitter to him.

He turned back to the window.

"Well then I'll see you tomorrow, James." When he didn't react Jamie turned to leave. The elevator doors opened as soon as she touched the button.

"Where to, Dr. Loeb?" JARVIS inquired.

"To the labs, Jarvis." She muttered and as the doors were closing spared one last glance at the fallen soldier, a lost man she really wanted to help, once again wondering if she was taking more than she could gulp.

Suddenly there was a strange unwelcome ache in her chest and her breathing hitched.

The elevator beeped indicating that it reached the intended floor. Jamie stormed out disregarding the entrance of Bruce's lab, opting for a smaller door down the hall.

She didn't even have time to lock the bathroom's door after herself as Jamie was doubled over the toilet with the contents of her stomach rushing out of her making her throat burn as she was trying to hold her hair with one of her hands.

Two cups of coffee and a cinnamon bagel (shared with Bruce, read 'made Bruce eat at least something') wasn't much to let loose. The more disgusting it felt.

Suddenly there was a presence next to her on the floor and a large hand on her back. The hand that was trying for the comforting circles but was failing miserably.

"Thanks, Tony..." Jamie coughed out attempting to show her appreciation of the billionaire's efforts.

"Well..."

"Don't say anything, you're on the verge of ruining it."

"Sure?" Tony handed her a bottle of water when Jamie's back fell on the marble wall next to him. "Cause I got a lot of good stuff right now."

"Sure." Jamie nodded curtly, taking a sip from the bottle, trying to erase the unwelcome taste in her mouth.

"We can always just pretend that we broke your new toy, I for once don't think Fury would have any problems with that." And though Tony got elbowed for the suggestion something told Jamie that sadly it was a pure truth: SHIELD's Director didn't care for the man that was tortured and turned into a deadly weapon against his will, he wanted the information on HYDRA and the Soviets. The fact that Steve Rogers (the most naive being on the whole planet, in Jamie's books) was so conveniently soliciting for his lost army friend was just another acquired card for his hand.

"But really, it wasn't so bad. Jarvis showed me the video. You actually did a pretty good job there." The Iron Man went on. "What twisted your knuckles so much?"

"Him." The young Doctor answered after a small pause. "He's different from what I have seen or from what I imagined min to be."

"Are you certain you're not running a fever or something? You leave next door to the-e-e-e Hulk!" He made sure the woman next to him could feel where the essence of the sentence was.

She just chuckled.

"So he's sticking around then?" Tony made it up and offered Jamie a hand.

"For now, yes." She nodded but didn't accept his hand. "You go, I'll be out in a minute."

"You know, if you'll be staying here often I can remodel the bathroom up your tastes. Paint a mountain here, eagle over there... "

"Haha."

"Ok, I'm out, you have fun but not that much fun." Before stepping out he let her know of his plans though. "I still need to cut the puking episode for the Tower Evening News. This one is a front-liner, I just know it!"

"I thought we weren't making those news a regular thing?!" Jamie yelled terrified.

"Apparently your genies boss changed his mind, bless him!"

Upon hearing it Jamie's stomach was threatening to repeat the previous performance so the young scientist just grabbed the bottle of water and the pack of notes that were thrown near the door, and left the bathroom hurriedly.

_**Hey guys! **_

_**First, so sorry for not updating but I had a massive writer's block! MASSIVE and I mean it in every possible ugly detail of it. I just felt like I couldn't make the story live up to it's potential. And now that I'm thankfully past it, you'll see what I came up with and trust me, there's plenty. There will be !SPOILER ALERT! ...some mutations involved, some superheroes that live in NY (anyone you know?) sooo keep up, tune in and let me know what you think!**_

_**Yours always,**_

_**Roadway Fox **_


	4. Chapter 4

"There has been an unusual alteration in the brain wave activity."

"Detected when?"

"Yesterday, after noon."

"You think that's it?"

"I'm not sure. I just wanted to let you know in case it is."

"I see." After a sigh he added. "Thank you, Professor."

"No worries, Director."

\- - - WS- - -

She was wearing light blue jeans and a very strange asymmetrical shirt that could be probably worn in many different ways. At least that what it seamed like. There were no heels in comparison to the their last (and first) meeting. She had flats on, that made her even smaller as she took a place on the couch in front of a chair he was occupying.

"You trying to make me feel more relaxed around you wearing simpler clothes?"

Jamie was glad to hear him giving her something more than one-word answers. And though the tone of his voice was bitter and irritated she would let him have it. This anger and betrayal that he has been feeling for some time (huge amount of time), it brought him to the place where they were at the moment. So for the time being she would let him remain like that if that's what he wanted...or the only way he knew how to be.

"It's Sunday." She sparred back watching his face, it gave away nothing. "Do you rather I was in a suit?"

"Don't care." He grumped.

His stance wasn't dangerously fixated but it wasn't relaxed either. Both his hands were securely laying on the chair's ones, back straight. His dark hair was falling on his face creating a menacing affect he probably wasn't going for.

"Good then, if we're done with my wardrobe. What do you want to talk about today?"Jamie watched James, her gaze calculated: she was seeking not scientifically researching.

If he was stunned by her question, he never showed it.

"I don't want to talk." He let out finally.

"I know you don't. But if you want this to work you're gonna have to do you best. And I'm gonna have to do my best.."

"There was an assistant at the HYDRA..."

"When I asked what you wanted to talk about," When the Doctor interrupted him James felt slightly confused which in turn made him even more angry. Wasn't this what she wanted from him. "I wasn't in any way implying that I wanted you to talk about HYDRA. Now if that's something you want to share then by all means but..."

He was silent.

"You know, I'm not sure if that's your thing but to watch sunrise from this tower is a moment to die for."

For him everything she said was full of controversials: to die for?! Did she have any idea what people died for? If no (and that probably was a no) in what world was she living in? And "his thing"? Seriously? He imagined his thing was stretched somewhere in the lines of killing people with the metal arm and no mercy.

"I can take it. You can say it out loud."

And he did. Because ironically what she said was probably the worst think she could have told him. James fisted his metal arm and his voice became dangerously low:

"What do you know about dying for something? What do you know about making choices with lives depending on it? A sunrise to die for? That's not why we enlisted in the army!..."

"Why did you enlist?" Her voice was the same as if she was expecting him to blow up like that. He was telling her off rather malevolently and her voice never wavered from the friendliness it was giving off.

"We wanted to help save this world. And the people. Yes, we gave ourselves a big credit, we were young and arrogant, but our intentions were good..." In his angry rambling the soldier didn't even realize that he was talking about the things he hasn't remembered before.

Jamie was looking at him intently, eating on every word he gave her, nodding with her head and with her eyes.

He suddenly stopped talking and seemed as though was tasting his own words. Then he looked back at the Doctor but this time it didn't seem like a prelude to strangling her but more of understanding and confusion at the same time.

"It's a very important memory, James." She said finally. "It's a motivation and the instinct to protect the ones that cannot protect themselves."

His arm un-fisted itself without any action on his part.

When it was evident that he didn't feel like discussing anything more, Jamie stood up from the couch and made her way in the direction of a kitchen counter.

"Let's give your mind some rest and get something to eat." She said loudly to his still unmoving form. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No." James confessed though didn't seem to be invested in the conversation, most likely still recollecting a piece of a memory that has just appeared.

"Pancakes sound ok?" Jamie asked searching through a stocked fridge.

"What?"

"Pancakes?" She repeated. "Do you want pancakes?"

James just furrowed his eyebrows at the Doctor.

"Well, I'm starving. I spent the night in the lab. I want to eat. If you want to eat too we could do it at the same time – which is now – same table. So if you're in, I'm turning my Martha Stewart mode on."

He couldn't understand the last part of the sentence but he knew without any shadow of a doubt that he didn't remember what pancakes tasted like. That prompted him to just nod his agreement as he placed himself at the kitchen island and watched a strange woman that was supposed to be his doctor making herself very comfortable in the kitchen.

"Do you sleep at all?" Jamie asked casually while pouring milk into a small saucepan.

He was watching unfamiliar movements while processing her question that was so simple that he almost forgot to answer it melting in her gentle stirring.

"Not much." James murmured still watching.

"You can't fall asleep or you have nightmares and you don't want to fall asleep?" Her eyes were trained on his and his on her hands.

"I'm not sure they are nightmares." He said after the pause.

"Do you want any medication for that?" She asked as casually as the previous question.

"No." There was no pause this time.

"I assure you it's nothing they've been putting into you while you were..." She grabbed sugar from the shelf that was on her eye-level.

"I said NO!"

"Calm down, tiger! Huh." James really couldn't understand Jamie, what was wrong with this woman? He couldn't remember anyone talking to him like that! Wasn't she afraid of the Winter Soldier. "I get it, you don't have to yell really."

"How do you know where the ingredients are?" He finally asked just because it was the random thought that was running circles in his mind. If she was here for the second time, how did she know?

"Oh, you've got the standard package!" She answered and laughed a bit mixing everything in a big bowl. His indicated that he didn't get her and Jamie continued. "There are a lot of people who live in the Tower from time to time. Right now Tony and Bruce Banner are here. But Tony insisted that every avenger had an apartment here. Similar to yours. And every time they stay here, the kitchen is stocked with the exact same wagon of food."

"Do you stay here?"

"Me? No!" Jamie started the fire for the pan. "I live Brooklyn. It's really one of the most affordable things on the market. Tony is mad about it, he orders me to move in here every other day."

She smiled imagining her boss.

"I lived in Brooklyn." James said and to someone who didn't know it would seem like a question.

Was it?

The young doctor took a big spoon and started placing the pancake mix on the hot pan.

"Right, you did." She said. "It changed a lot, you can only imagine."

He huffed in response.

"I'm sure when we get through the first stages of your treatment and evaluation, we'll talk about getting you to see Brooklyn." She flipped a pancake and it landed back on the pan with a little pouf.

Though James was enchanted by the movements in front of him, his mind registered what she said.

"You are a fool if you think they'll let you."

"Hey!" She pointed her spatula in his general direction.

_Something had to be wrong with her..._

"Help me here. I'm telling you, I'm gonna show you Brooklyn. Brooklyn that I know today. But before that you and I, we have a journey, not the easiest one, to take. You don't know me and with the history like your's I'd say the meaning of 'trust issues' might get a new meaning. But, I promise you that we're gonna go to Brooklyn, and we will. I'm a woman of my word."

She was dead serious, that he could tell. But the spatula in her hand...

"So..." Jamie put all the kitchen appliances down and placed a plate full of pancakes in front of the soldier. "Honey or Chocolate?"

With that she dragged two big bottles from one of the shelves.

\- - -WS- - -

The lamp on the bedside table crushed as soon as the metal hand sent it flying.

James woke up in cold sweat. His thoughts...something dark in his head.

As soon as his eyes opened he couldn't recall what he saw, his mind blank. This state, the state of blankness, to him it felt worse than nightmares. He knew exactly it was the state when the Winter Soldier took over, when James was not in control of his own body.

His breathing slowed and he looked around in search of clocks. The digital ones on the monitor near the door signaled 4:49 am in red numbers. Dirty red. Was it the color of blood?

James stood up and slowly left the room for the main area, disregarding his T-shirt on the back of the chair and opting to stay in his slacks.

As he made it to the window his right hand reached his left shoulder and started tracing the joint, the line which separated the flash and the metal. The signals were sent to his brain that there was a touch but nothing else. He wondered if he could just scrape it away...

Bright reds, yellows and pinks started filling the room a second later, something James was not ready for. The rays were dancing right in front of his eyes as if they were some exotic dancers moving their ethereal bodies to their own music that no one else could hear.

James watched the show, his hands on the windowsill, his eyes trained in front of him. Everything else was silent at the moment, non-existent.

_She was right after all. _He be damned. It was a sunrise to kill for. He would.

_**Guys, I seriously need some feedback! At least just to know if I should go on with this! So push the button down there and leave me a couple words! **_

_**xx**_

_**Roadway Fox **_


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, what's new on the life with Tin-Man?" Tony inquired when Jarvis announced Jamie's arrival to his floor.

"Why is it no matter what you say I imagine you smirking all the same?" She asked, one brow raised.

"Because I am." He simply replied reaching his hand for the pack of gummy bears. "Candy?"

"Nuh, I just had a chocolate croissant. I'm screaming at myself for that...on the inside."

"10:30 and you've already had your fill of pastry?" Tony looked up from his computer. "Hot date?"

"At 10:30 am?" Jamie grimaced.

"You're right. Scratch hot. Date?" He popped another bear in his mouth, having thrown it up in the air prior to that.

"I had coffee with Leo." Jamie dismissed.

"So you had coffee with the guy who has the biggest crush on you. You're right, this was sooo not a date." Tony made sure to express his opinion very avidly about everyone around him and her friend in particular.

"I think we're done talking about my male friends. Though we can discuss those croissants from...Ceci-Cela..."

Tony almost spit the candy out:

"You went to Ceci-Cela with him?!"

"And we set at a little table under the Rue De Paradis sign..." Jamie went on with a sly smirk.

"Traitor!" The billionaire hollered. "That was our place."

Jamie raised her chin as if daring her friend to go on with their little show.

"You did what I asked?" She finally asked after it was evident that Tony was about to take on a long road of whining.

"Yeah. Jarvis will grant you access. But only to that room."

"Noted." She turned back to the elevator. "Thanks, Boss."

"I don't like that Leo friend of yours." He yelled at her back.

His answer was a closing elevator door.

\- - -WS- - -

It's been a little more than a week since James moved into the Stark Tower. The days were pretty routine for someone who spent last unknown amount of years being an invincible assassin.

His nightmares were still in there every night that's why he slept 2-3 hours a night. The good thing was that having the enhanced health and recovery system it was enough for him. He sticked to his decision not to take any kind of medications for that.

It was very quiet in the Tower. If anything happened in the other parts of the building, he didn't know that.

Doctor Jamie came every day. They talked (she did most of the talking, telling him about how the memory works, about the WWII, how the life has changed), he sometimes remembered flashes of his past when hi mind relaxed listening to her voice. And when she cooked lunch for them, he caught himself remembering what the certain food tasted like.

Doctor Jamie...

I his eyes she was the strangest female he has ever encountered...as far as he could tell. She often laughed at herself having probably internal jokes with herself. He was most certain that she's never had a patient like the Winter Soldier and yet she acted as if she knew exactly what she was doing. And every time she entered the room his heightened senses detected honey and melon from her shampoo filling it with a light aroma almost completely.

And she was not fazed at all, at least that's what it seamed. Not with his hand, his attitude or his history of violence.

To her honer she did show up every day...Or maybe it was just her job.

"James?" As if on cue the little Miss showed up on his doorsteps.

He decided against answering, it's not like he had any place else to be.

"So, you know how you keep whining about you want to work out and there's no place for that?" She stopped in front of him, her skirt suit neatly schooled and her hair exuding honey and melon.

"Not whining." He just burked in return but inside he was amused.

"Not the point." She bubbled. "But you do. Anyway, come with me, there's something I want to show you."

"We going somewhere?" That picked his interest, staying in the same place (even if it was a Tony Stark's Five Dimond apartment building) could get anyone agitated.

"Pay attention!" She mocked and turned on her heels making no room for any kind of arguments or a possibility of him not following.

Once they entered the elevator the doors closed and the A.I. enquired:

"Where to, Dr. Loeb?"

"Did Tony give you specific instructions for James?" She asked.

"James, Miss? I have instructions for TinMan."

Jamie sighed, James' metal arm flexed.

"Jarvis, could you tell your boss that one of my high heels are gonna fly up his ass next time I see him, thank you. And yes, those are the instructions."

"On your way, Doctor."

"Thank you, Jarvis."

The ride was fast, uneventful and silent.

When the elevator doors beeped open the first thing James saw fallowing Jamie through them was darkness. A second later the sensors reacted to their presence and dim lights illuminated the big room.

James' breath hitched for a second. They were in a gym but...the gym looked like something from his time. He couldn't remember his time very good but from the pieces and bits he could tell the room looked like something that could be familiar.

"When Steve agreed to stay in the Tower from time to time Tony made a replica of the gym SHIELD had provide Captain America with when they first...defrosted him." Jamie said quietly next to him, mentally kicking herself for the choice of a word _"...did I just really call Steve Rogers a frozen chicken? Just shoot me"_. "It's just two floors below and you're free to come here any time you feel like it. Just tell Jarvis you're heading to the gym."

He was listening to her but he wasn't at the same time. Suddenly he was sank into the world he's lost a long time ago. For the first time he felt some kind of connection with the time he was born in. It wasn't a bond, it wasn't strong but it was there in the color of the equipment, in a shabby wooden bench, in those walls...

Jamie's eyes were carefully trained on her patient. She was yet to see him like that. His eyes were looking at the things in the room but he was up in his own thoughts. What caught her the most about his state was that for the first time she didn't detect anything negative, no aggression or pessimism. It was just him, and he looked lost. Lost and searching.

And then something else happened. She felt it in her heart. One moment she felt lost too. Not the kind of loss that you feel when you're a little child who's ran away from their mom in a supermarket but the kind of loss when everything you've ever known is gone and there's no road back and you don't even remember if any of these roads existed. Jamie's heart became numb and then like a tidal wave it was covered with all the sympathy and safety and all the help that she wanted to give to the fallen soldier. And out of nowhere that wasn't a part of what she's planned she came closer and took his good hand in hers.

It felt so foreign that James almost didn't detect the change. The touch that wasn't there to hurt, that wasn't there to erase, to harm. He didn't do anything: he was just standing there with his hand just hanging numbly from Doctor Jamie's one. Her hand was warm as she was just standing there not moving any further. But at the same time his thoughts gained very strange momentum clarity. The two of them were standing in the middle of the gym and it seemed that there was something in the air: unfamiliar serenity.

It was gone the next moment.

_**-\\\\-**_

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_**Yours,**_

_**RoadwayFox**_


	6. Chapter 6

"_**How do I get rid of him?"**_

"_**The Winter Soldier?"**_

"_**Yes."**_

"_**You don't."**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**The trick is not to get rid of him. He is a part of you now. And you've already forgotten a huge part of yourself. Trying to erase another part of your persona won't bring any good. It's a negative tendency. The trick is to learn how to co-exist and always be in control." **_

She told him that he had to learn to stay in control. And then she added:

"_**It's like being an addict or an alcoholic. Even when you stop using you're not healed completely. You're never completely fine after you've started. There're only different levels of better. And there's only one way to go: you confront your demons every day and you fight for your "better" every day."**_

_-_WS-

"I think it's time you get some sleep."

Jamie blinked once..twice..and looked up from her tablet.

"And the fact that I'm telling you this says a lot." Bruce, arms crossed on his chest, was holding the doorframe.

"Is it so late already?"

"Around 2 a.m." The scientist confirmed.

"No..." Jamie sighed and yawned seconding her friend's words. "Or is it."

"Just stay in the Tower tonight. There's really no point in heading back home."

The young woman nodded. There was no point in arguing. And she didn't have the strength to anyway. It was good that she could use any of Tony's free guest rooms anyway.

"You gonna take your own advise?" She asked turning off the tablet.

"I have to finish something first." Bruce aid and started to retreat.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"But you _are _staying in the Tower so that Tony wouldn't have to hack the database of all hospitals and morgues?" He specified.

"It does sound like Tony..." Jamie narrowed her eyes. "But something tells me that you'd be the one to set him up to this..."

Bruce chuckled and left sending an "Oh shrinks" over his shoulder.

"Miss Loeb?" An electronic voice from above distracted Jamie from her half-asleep state couple minutes later.

"Why aren't you asleep, my A.I. Friend?" She sighed and once again fell back on her chair.

"I don't need to sleep, Miss."

Jamie huffed light-heartedly at the remark:

"What is it, Jarvis?"

"Your room is prepared for you on Mr. Stark's floor."

"Thank you."

"And I just wanted to let you know that Mr. Barnes is having difficulties sleeping again."

That got her alerted:

"Give me his vitals."

The screen rolled down in front of her going chaotic with diagrams, Jamie's eyes running a mile, catching all the ups and downs of tiny lines, numbers telling her more than she could see on a real-life picture.

"Elevator, Jarvis!"

She was down on his floor mare seconds after.

He was on the couch, probably fell asleep there. Shirtless, only wearing a pair of slacks. Normally Jamie would take a moment to appreciate what usually was hidden by the long sleeves of his shirts but James was going rigid in his dream-like state, _more like a nightmare...definitely a nightmare._

"James." Jamie was on her knees in front of the couch.

"James." She called again, he kept tossing and turning unresponsive.

"James." This time the young woman was a little louder. "James, you've got to wake up."

Nothing.

Even before her hand went to touch him she knew that it was a bad idea. She just didn't calculate the amount of the damage.

As soon as her slender hand touched his shoulder, James' metal arm flew to Jamie's throat and in a second after a lightning-ly fast twist both of them were on the floor with James on top. His eyes were dark and his weapon arm unclenching.

Jamie grabbed the metal with both her hands but to no result. Her strength was nothing compared to his.

"J...Ja..." She couldn't breath out a single word, not even his name.

In the dark of the room in the middle of the night his eyes were two dark pools of abyss. He was starring at her but his eyes were void.

Clutching James' hand in a hope that he'd let go Jamie felt the consciousness leaving her. In a moment before she thought she was a goner she was suddenly thrown into a hurricane of blurriness. It was extremely hard to put two and two together, like never before. Images kept flying around and Jamie didn't just see them around her...she felt them. _Emotions..._it felt like emotions. But how was it possible?

And then there was a dark rock or a wall...she couldn't tell. Jamie was so confused and only God knows why she just said, loud and clear:

"You gotta let go." A single tear rolled down her cheek. "James.. You've got to let me go."

As fast as the blurriness engulfed her Jamie was junked into reality.

And reality was of her rolling to her stomach, grabbing her throat in an agonistical fit of coughing. She could swear that she could probably cough her lungs out.

"Miss Loeb? Is everything alright? I detected the drastic change in your vitals. Do you need me to alert Master Stark or Dr. Banner?" Jarvis enquired.

"No.." She barked urgently, a simple word coming out raspy. "No."

As the coughing ceased (her throat was still burning like she put it on a sizzling grill and then pushed it back into her mouth though) Jamie could turn around to assess the situation.

When the circles in front of her eyes reduced and small lights turned into darkness again, Jamie turned around still plastered on the floor with only her right hand to hold her weight. It was shaking.

She spotted him on the floor on his knees. Head down, staring at his hands.

"James?.." Her hoarse voice cut through the silence of the room.

He didn't move. Or say anything. His fists were doing a rhythmical dance of clenching and unclenching.

James felt like he was in hell. Why was she there at such ungodly hour?! He didn't understand how it all happened. He remembered waking up after midnight because of another nightmare and going out of the bedroom and then probably drifting off on the sofa. And then there was no line between the nightmare and reality, between him and the Winter Soldier. She was a threat in the eyes of the Winter Soldier. The woman that promised to help, that was with him every day for the last month... She was on the floor and he almost killed her. He would if... if what? He heard her...as if she was in his head. With her calm reassuring voice she told him to let go and he had no choice but to do it.

"James?" Her harsh whisper was far away and it made him ashamed more than ever. Why wasn't she running away from him? From this place? Why was she willingly staying in a cage with a monster?

Jamie crawled closer very slowly. She stopped a few inches from him and mirrored his position. Her hands slightly shaking came to rest on her knees.

"James, can you hear me?" She tried to sound as soft as possible but her windpipes were damaged and the words came out raspy.

He nodded, though in his head her actions were surreal.

"James, look at me."

He was still fixated on his hands.

She was scared, God knows she was...but she knew that if she ran away everything they had, that she gained from him by bits and pieces would be shattered.

So she carefully eased her still slightly trembling hands on his, making them automatically stop the movements. James fisted his hands.

"Look at me, James."

This time he did. And his stare was a void again. But of another kind: desperation and guilt.

"It's ok." She promised, looking him in the eyes. "I'm here and I'm ok..."

"Why are you still here?" His voice dead with no emotion.

"I promised to help. And I'm not backing down." Jamie answered honestly. "Tell me you're not about to either."

There it was. She felt the emotional distance between them shift as he released the tension in his fists and they went flying down as her own hands let his go.

"I..." he stated and at the moment Jamie couldn't remember a man more lost than him.

"I know." She whispered as he bended his head down very low. "I know. Come on, let's get you back to the couch."

But he just shook his head "no" and put it in his hands. She understood him. He's just done an awful thing: physically damaged her and mentally himself. Furniture was for humans and he didn't feel like one at the moment.

So she shifted and placed her back to the wall, stretching her legs. Then she lightly pulled his shriveled form to her body so that his head came to rest on her lap. He looked up at her face searching the answer in the forming bruises from his fingers on her neck. He couldn't find one.

"I'm with you and I'm not gonna let those nightmares back in tonight. Just close your eyes."

But the nightmares were the last thing he was afraid of at the moment.

One of her hands started caressing his hair (automatically, most likely) and the other one came to rest on his chest. Not long after James felt himself drifting off in a dreamless sleep.

When Jamie was sure he was out she swallowed a little then cleared her throat:

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, miss Loeb?" The A.I. answered as quietly.

"Erase the footage of what happened here."

"But Dr..."

"Erase it, Jarvis. I'm asking it for Tony's sake as well as all others."

She suddenly felt extremely exhausted and tired and couldn't move a limb. She didn't hear the A.I. confirming the deleting of the video. The darkness took over and her thoughts were dissolved in the stillness of the room. The only sound she heard (felt...) was the beating heart under her palm. The heart of the man who's almost took her life.

_**-/-**_

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**Roadway Fox**


	7. Chapter 7

The walk of shame is defined by a subject crawling to a safety of a private place alone under the watchful eyes of strangers, feeling [subject] extremely awkward and embarrassed. That's how Jamie remembered the Wikipedia determining the term.

She wasn't exactly ashamed or embarrassed...but it still felt like she was doing the one and only walk of shame.

It was about 5:30 in the morning. She left James on the floor where they've spent the night. Jamie felt like a squeezed lemon. She fell in and out of sleep all through the rest of the night she's spent on James' floor. Her throat was aching and she was pretty sure it looked about the same that it felt. The only wish she had at the moment: reach the guest room before being noticed.

There was no such luck.

As the elevator doors opened the young doctor was welcomed by a surprised face of none other than Steve Rogers himself.

"Captain." Jamie tried to sound normal but failed miserably, her insides going dry and sending her in a fit of coughing as soon as she entered and the doors closed behind her.

"You ok, miss Loeb?" His voice concerned and his eyes trained on the bruises of her neck.

It was stupid to pretend otherwise so she just answered after a sigh:

"I...am. It was an unfortunate episode. My fault mostly and I have it under control right now."

Silence followed.

"You mean...did..." The grimace on his youthful face was almost enough for Jamie to regret what she's said. "Bucky did this?"

"No...no, the Winter Soldier did this. He was having a nightmare and I was stupid enough to try and wake him up..."

But Steve was hardly listening, his eyes trained on purple marks on her neck.

"Steve!" It was the first time she called him by his first name, it did snap him out of the state. "It's going to be hard for you to understand but I need you to listen and to trust me the way you trusted me with your friend."

Captain looked at her, ears sharp but still horrified with the sight.

"I made a mistake. It's one of those mistakes that I had to make in the process of treatment someone who has a very different kind of condition from what the traditional science knows. So whatever you think of doing right now, don't. Leave it all to me. I'm not backing down. And I'm not making another mistake like this either."

She was dead serious. Steve had to give her this. He was still swimming in uncertainty rivers when he finally cleared his throat and said:

"I don't like this but I'm going to leave it...for now. Though I don't think Stark will let it go that easily."

"Leave Tony to me." Jamie smiled a little and rubbed one of the sore spots on her neck.

"You have to get some sleep.`' Steve commented when the elevator beeped his floor. From Steve it was an equivalent of "You look like crap". "And maybe to see a doctor..."

"Will do, Captain." The young doctor mock saluted. "If you do something in return..."

-WS-

It was odd...and unexpected. Especially given what happened that night. Waking up on the floor and remembering what he's done, James' first instinct was to be disgusted with himself but he couldn't. He just couldn't. The Winter Soldier, his counter part, the part that was created and sewed to him without his consent, did it. He had no idea why but the notion was imprinted in his mind and he couldn't let himself even think otherwise.

It's like the mantra that Jamie kept whispering (because it was too painful for her to talk louder) worked. He felt sorry but not at fault. When it all happened he was ready to chop the metal hand but in the morning...as if he was brain-washed...but he knew for a fact that he wasn't.

The digital clock showed a little after noon. Usually Jamie would have been with him. James didn't blame her, he perceived that. Even though the night before she was very decisive about not leaving him and not backing down, he really could see why she changed her mind.

When Steve who hasn't shown up for more than a month entered, James couldn't hide his disappointment:

"Wow," Steve whistled. "Try to hide your joy a bit there!"

"Sorry." Grunted the other soldier. "I'm surprised to see you."

"Yeah, I had two missions and a lot of tracking to do. Wasn't even near New York." Captain America came to stand near the window.

James just nodded not asking for details, he knew quiet well that Steve wouldn't and couldn't give him any.

"Wanna hit the gym and tell me the stuff you remembered?" The blonde's face lit up with a mischievous smile.

"How do you know I remembered anything?"

"I met Jamie on my way up in the morning. Oh and she asked to tell you that she'll come see you in the evening. And we could spend time before then."

James's face changed. And Steve could swear that the corner of his lips twitched up ever so slightly. His friend stood up from the couch and turned to the elevator:

"Gym sounds good...Mr. Banana Milkshake."

Steve followed smiling. Either deciding to delay the sore subject.

-WS-

It was hard. She was standing in front of the door of the guest-room and she was frozen, unmoving for a better part of the last ten minutes. She told Steve she was ok, previously she'd told Bruce and Tony that "this" all was fine. But the truth was: she was not ok and that was not a fine situation.

She was taking blind steps with James and she had found out pretty fast that the memory drug she's created cannot be tested on him. His situation was unique to say the least, and he couldn't even be her test subject.

But Jamie has agreed to treat him and it didn't matter anymore.

She felt insecure: there wasn't too much progress in the case, if any, and she'd expect more by the time; her throat was hurting from the Winter Soldier trying to choke the life out of her, she had almost stopped seeing other patients, lied to her employer and friend and the worst thing: she was doubting herself.

Jamie wanted to help James badly. She really did. But it's been a month and all she got was a sore neck and his unchanging crapy mood.

And her fish back home probably died all alone.

-WS-

When she reached his floor there seemed to be no one in the earshot. Then Jamie heard the water running.

Looking around there was no indication whatsoever of anything that's happened last night.

He entered the room a little later, putting the white wifebeater on. She was there, more pale than usual. She was standing near the window, not acknowledging him, deep in thought.

"Doc?" He called so she would know she wasn't alone anymore.

"Hey." Jamie turned around: her voice still rough, her neck hidden by a turtleneck. "How was your day with Steve?"

He didn't answer but stepped closer. Something's changed. In him. She was there, she came back. As she promised. And he was still there: so she's probably found some way to hide what's happened from Stark. Cause that man was just looking for a reason to get reed of him. Choking Jamie was much more than enough.

"You came."

There was a silence as they were looking at each other. Then she said:

"I doubted..."

His eyes dulled momentally and before he could fix the slip she went on:

"Not because of what happened yesterday...but because for a moment I felt very hopeless. Like everything I try to accomplish, all the help that I try to give you...like it doesn't work at all...honestly I have no idea if there is a point. You are going to have to tell me yourself. You have to tell me if this is taking you somewhere..."

She slipped down on the floor carefully. He followed and took a place in front of her, slightly closer to when they were standing.

Jamie was looking straight at him, her eyes very big and blue. James stayed silent but inside there was a small war: he was not good with words. Not anymore. But he knew one thing: the Doc made him feel less lost. Yeah, he was locked in the Tower, she and Steve were the only people he communicated with but...he remembered pieces from his life before the war and truthfully he liked the way she cooked for him...

"I need you." In the end that was all he could coax.

Then he started waiting to see if that worked.

"You sure?" She wasn't mocking, it was more a question to make sure that neither of them were backing down, that time for real.

"Positive."

"Good."

_**-\\-**_

_**What do yo'll think? I know it's dragging a little bit but I need to establish relationship between the characters before going somewhere. Anyway, drop me a line.**_

_**xo, RoadwayFox**_


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